"I'm fine." Mine as well as a ton of other people out there motto...lol...tell people enough times and you start to believe that your just fine...when really it's just pushed so far down that you cant even feel it anymore. I know there are 2 reasons why I say that...
1. I say it because I want everyone to be happy...and not have drama or bullshit happen...
and
2. I just need to deal with it to myself...I know sometimes that's not always a good thing to do, but that's how I am. I suppress my feels...I know I do...and I'm okay with being able to admit that...what I am not okay with is pushing EVERYTHING down and then BOOM it all gets released in one "Watch the fuck out...i'm comin through" kinda way... I know that many of us do this..so I am not the only one in the world...but it really sucks sometimes.
I try hard to tell people how I feel...especially those I care most about...Im not shy by any means I tell it like it is...if you don't like it----Don't listen....I am blunt and to the point...I can come off as mean almost...and I think that comes from me always needing to make sure everyone around me is happy...and doing everything in my power to help them..
I don't look after that sort of shit for myself....I like I said earlier I suppress things a lot. As I sit here writing this and thinking about a million and ten different things....(Thanks ADD....lol) Its just popped into my head that I NEED a change....and I gotta do it now!!!
I don't think it will be a good one at the beginning but I think over time it will get better....
End of rant...LOL pretty sure there will be more to come....lol
~M~
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